I'm kind of judgmental. Okay, very judgmental. But that's because most people are stupid and wrong.
One of the things I judge freely and harshly is reality television. I can't stand it. It ranks right up there with body odor and lost luggage and people who still use scrunchies. I hate reality TV, but I won't rant about it here because it's not 1999 and Survivor is not in its first season. The reasons for my disdain are trite and snobbish. You can probably guess what they are.
Oh, but I'm also a hypocrite, because I watch reality television anyway.
I don't watch prime-time reality shows, the ones that pretend to seek out the "best" person for something—the best apprentice, the best pop star, the best romantic partner for a particular bachelor, the best fashion designer, the best person to eat maggots for three weeks on an island. No, I prefer the trashier kind of reality show. The shows I watch feature bratty teenagers who cry when they don't get what they want. Or botoxed divorcés who go shopping on Rodeo Drive and complain about not being invited to important luncheons. I also like America’s Next Top Model. Yes, it claims to be looking for the "best" model, but I don’t care about that. I like it because the girls cry over shoes and get yelled at when they fail to make fake beards sexy. Oh, and once I saw an episode of America's Biggest Loser in which the weight-loss contestants were forced to move a pile of cupcakes from one side of the room to the other using only their mouths, but they couldn't eat them. It was so cruel and heartless, I laughed about it for days.
But there's this reality show that I actually, truly like. I think the people competing on it are talented and I'm not sure, but I think it might have some artistic merit. And I kind of want the "best" contestants to win. It’s weird, and I feel uneasy admitting this, but I really, really like America's Best Dance Crew.
It's on MTV. I'm in journalism school so I’m supposed to watch CNN, but I bet I've logged more hours watching True Life documentaries than I have with Anderson Cooper. I wish MTV played more music, and I wish the music it did play was good—or at least not so bland that I found myself wanting hearing aids just so I could turn them off—but these are past grievances and I got over them long ago. Right around that first season of Survivor, actually. And yes, I'm fully aware that at age 25, I'm outside MTV's target age demographic. I may be old for MTV, but I'm still immature. I mean hip.
I like America's Best Dance Crew because show is so simple. A bunch of dance teams compete and I get to watch their routines. There's no back story. I don't have to learn the dancers' names. I see a short, 5-minute clip of their weekly rehearsal and then they come on stage and do things like incorporate hip-hop moves into the Broadway song "All That Jazz." Then the judges say stuff and I don't pay attention to that. And then the next dance group comes on and the process repeats. It's short and succinct. Like a YouTube video.
The reason why I love America's Best Dance Crew is the reason why I hate all the other reality shows. They try to get me to form a relationship with the characters when all I want to do is watch them dance around and entertain me. I don't care that Tiffany’s mother died when she was only 3, or that Robert's father never hugged him. I want to watch them lose weight, eat earthworms, sing a song or design a dress. Stop trying to make me care about reality show contestants when I can barely bring myself to make small-talk with my neighbors. I don't bond with TV characters. I judge them harshly and then change the channel.
Also, she show is hosted by AC Slater. Unfortunately, no one ever does The Sprain.
*Except America’s Next Top Model.
.jpg){kind=link}